Manic stuff

I'm getting a little manic right now as I pack for PR. Just 10 minutes ago, I saw that I was wiping the kitchen floor with a paper towel. Also, every trashcan in the house has been emptied and all the laundry is done. When I'm done packing, I'm going to go through the house and unplug all the unused electrical appliances. And there is a note on the mailbox that indicates all overflow mail should go in the plastic box provided, directly under the mailbox.

I tried on my bathing suits today so I could steel myself to the horror. My ass looks hideous, more jiggly than I've ever seen it - ever. I know I'm my worst critic. And my critic says, "Work that ass OUT!" Blah.

I tucked my little girls into bed at my mom's house tonight, gave them big hugs and kisses, and told them I was going to PR to scope it out, so that we can all come together next time. I miss them already.

I need some sleep. That's what the beach is for...

Wax on

In anticipation of my trip, I got waxed this afternoon. Yeah, I got the Brazilian, so there'll be no Hanging Gardens of Babylon (google it, if you need to). Holy crap, that burned like a M-F'er. Also, I was naked from the waist down, showing my goods to a total stranger - a common scenario when I was in my early 20's, but not so much these days. That's a joke. Seriously. Don't judge.

Take me away

Next week, I'm going away to the beaches of Puerto Rico with my excellent boyfriend! Here's where we're staying. And he suggested we visit the spa while we're there - he just might be the perfect man.

Racquet/Racket

I played tennis yesterday for the first time in about 15 or 16 years. I use the word "played" very loosely, but, oh man, was it fun. I'm going to teach my girls how to play, and then they will be the Asian version of the Williams sisters, and I will be their manager. How fabulous will that be?!

Paint

The previous owners of my house loved stenciling so much, they stenciled lovely floral patterns along the tops of the walls throughout the house. Obviously, someone took much time and great care to hand-trace flowers, then color them in in various shades of pink and lime green. After I moved in, the first thing I did was paint over these stencils.

Unfortunately, the paint color I chose for my front hallway, called "Field Linen", was supposed to be a pale straw color. However, it turned out to be more the shade of pale straw lightly misted in Pepto Bismol. So, over the weekend I experimented with new colors.

Paint try-on #1: Dark, dark olive green. Going for a dramatic, sort-of enveloping feeling when you walk in the front door. Gorgeous color, but way too dark for a hallway that gets very little sunlight.

Paint try-on #2: Very pale mint green. Think it's called "Spring Whisper". I painted it on this morning before I left for work, and hated it - too white, washed out. Maybe I'll think differently tonight when I get back, since it's had time to cure all day.

I think I'll try to find that pale straw color on the third go-around.

I will die alone

My friend, C, told me last night that he was reconciling with his wife of 7 years. This is the wife who, about 2 years ago, cheated on him repeatedly and span a huge web of lies, thus completely tearing his heart into tiny little pieces and rendering him virtually useless to other women. He never stopped loving her and always wanted her back. Well, happy day, because 2 weeks ago, she told him over drinks that she was ready to get back together with him.

I'm still stunned. I said very little to him after he told me; I asked logical questions about trusting her again, what's changed in her, what'll be different this time around. However, I didn't say he was crazy. And I didn't tell him that if he did go back to her, things between us would be different. Different how? Different in the fact that I will let go of a small, crazy, persistent belief that one day he and I would end up together. Different in the fact that I can no longer list him as my emergency contact. Different in the fact that, while he has regained his hope of being with someone he wanted to end up with, I have lost my hope in the very same thing. By the way, he also told me that he wanted to grow old with her in the worst possible way. So, today I woke up and, not to sound melodramatic, but everything seems slightly askew - everything is really the same, but I feel like I'm walking around slightly sideways.

Good night

I just pulled an all-nighter finishing up an opinion for the judge. I finished at 5:20 this morning and emailed it to him - hope he sees the time stamp and thinks about what a dedicated, hard-worker I am (really it's my own goddamn fault for surfing the internet at the office instead of actually working during lucid-human business hours). I see the sky has just started to lighten, just in time for me to shower and go to sleep.

Hmmm, maybe I won't go to bed. Maybe I'll just stay up, because really, I'm not sleepy. I am hungry though, so I'm going to eat a bagel I got from Wegman's. Maybe I'll eat my bagel and watch an episode of Eli Stone that I've DVR'ed. For a second, I thought about going to my gym, which stays open 24 hours during the week. Maybe I'll do all these things, only really, really slowly.