Law Office of Me?

I've been seriously thinking about starting my own law practice. I need to sit down, clear my head, and figure out why I want to do this and how I can make it happen.

Gimme

Today, I got a message at work that someone from HR had called for me. Immediately I start thinking that maybe I've come in late too many times or that I shouldn't work offsite as much or that the judge is firing me. When I return the HR person's call, she begins our conversation this way: "I don't have my notes in front of me, but you should know that I've already discussed this with the judge..." Just as I was about to pee in my pants, she goes on to tell me that the budget and accounting department has discovered that I've been underpaid since I started working at the court, and that I'm owed a nice piece of cash. I bet she expected me to be pissed, because she kept apologizing, but, let me tell you, I feel like I bought a winning scratch-off!

FYI

Flights to and from Pensacola (pictured), Sarasota, West Palm Beach, and Tampa are $99 each way. Miami is $109. San Diego and Vegas are $159.

I want my stimulus money now.

My New Haircut

Oh yeah, baby! I busted out laughing at work because of these:


Check this out first - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JMOh-cul6M


Then this - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNfyBqrAaPk&feature=related

I like shiny things

Yesterday, after work, I went to a bar near my house and drank a dirty Grey Goose martini, then went shopping at Loehman's. I love that place.


I bought this lovely patent leather handbag by Kenneth Cole:


I feel fabulous walking down the street with it.

Nonsense

The Maryland State Senate is cookoo for cocoapuffs. After a preliminary vote of approval yesterday, the Senate is likely, this week or next, to push back the implementation of a law banning dishwasher detergent containing phosphorus. What this means is that big companies (like Proctor & Gamble in Hunt Valley) get an extra 6 months to comply with the law, and so, phosphorus will continue to be leaked into the Chesapeake bay until July of 2010 - 7.5 tons of it. That's 7.5 tons that would not otherwise be dumped in our waters. I have no idea why these companies need over 2 years to remove this ingredient. I went to Target two days ago and bought Cascade brand phosphorus-free dishwasher detergent. Also, Trader Joe's carries its own brand. I see no reason why P&G needs any extra time.

Why is excessive phosphorus bad for the Chesapeake? It encourages excessive algae growth, which blocks out sunlight to the lower depths and reduces oxygen for blue crabs, fish, and other Bay creatures.

Meanwhile, individual freedom is being invaded. Everyone will probably have to go out and buy Bluetooth headsets so we can use our cell phones in our cars (hello, BestBuy, thanks for contributing to the campaign), and we can no longer text in our cars. Also, we won't be able to video gamble (not that I do, but now I can't even if I wanted to) at local bars anymore, because none of the revenue goes back to the government, and also, it'll probably interfere with slots revenues in the future. I almost forgot the best part - speed cameras all over the place!

Does it need definition?

What is cheating?

Last week, I had lunch with a guy pal of mine and, of course, we discussed the whole Spitzer-hooker thing. Then the conversation evolved/devolved into what cheating means: Is a blowjob cheating? What about phone sex? What about going to a strip club?

He had a very loose definition of cheating. He said sex with a third party involving emotions is definitely cheating, but here are things he said were either NOT cheating or was noncommittal about: hiring hookers, getting a handjob from a masseuse, phone sex with a third party, getting a lapdance, talking dirty with someone face-to-face.

And I felt like an old lady, because I was unable to say, flat-out, that X,Y, and Z is cheating or A,B, and C is cheating. I said, and still believe, that even holding hands (hear me out) with another person could be considered cheating, because cheating goes to your state of mind. I think that an act that would be a dealbreaker for some would be no big deal for others.

So what is cheating, to me? Ok, if I asked my boyfriend what he did last night, and he did something with another woman that he is afraid to tell or uncomfortable about telling me, then he cheated. Period. To me, the deciding factors are his state of mind, his intent in acting as he did, and whether he could reasonably have believed that he was keeping the loyalty and trust between us intact.

And, while the meaning of cheating is not black and white, the effect of cheating is, in my book. I cannot abide disloyalty. I know me, and if I stayed with someone who cheated on me, I would never be able to respect his decision-making capacity, and would always question his devotion, his word, his promises. I don't need my significant other to call me twice a day or always include me in activities with his friends, but what I do need, and will not bend on, is that he keep the promises he makes. And if or when there comes a point where he can't keep a promise, then he needs to tell me before he acts, so that at least I will have a valid decision to make in the relationship.

Blahblahblah.

I Heart Google

I want to work for Google. Fortune magazine listed Google as the #1 best company to work for in 2007 and 2008. And after learning more about the perks of being an employee of the world's largest internet search engine, I can see why. Here is a list of benefits:

• solar panels convert sunlight into clean electricity that fuels Google's operations
• Employees are encouraged to move around within the company. This is perfect for me, since I get bored easily with the same job, same activities over and over again. Google will prevent carpal tunnel syndrome in my brain.
• on-site lap pool, huge company gym, beach volleyball, roller hockey in the parking lot (i don't play volleyball or roller hockey - YET)
• pet-friendly; I'd be able to bring my hypothetical new puppy.
• 11 free gourmet, organic cafeterias
• pajama days
• 99% of employees hold stock options; a single share of Google stock costs more than $700 (right now, I can afford to buy, let's see... 1 share, if I don't pay any of my utilities this month)
• free on-site medical care from real doctors
• free company shuttle services from 5 Bay area locations
• car washes & oil changes for employees who drive
• on-site hair salon
• reimbursement up to $500 for takeout food for new parents
• personal concierge services
• FREE on-site childcare. This alone is worth it.
• free use of washers & dryers; dry cleaning service also available
• motorized scooters for employees to use as they move around the Google campus
• company property is referred to as a "campus"
• company bookmobile (yes, I'm a total nerd)

The Mistress

I'm going through a mid-blog crisis, so I'm trying out a new blogsite. I'm sorry, LiveJournal, I swear, it's not you, it's me. Plus, I just couldn't resist Blogger's layouts, colors, and good looks, not to mention Blogger does not force me to either pay or place advertising. Don't hate me. I'll remember the good times: http://legalfiction33.livejournal.com/