As of July 1, I will be unemployed. Here's what I have come up with so far as to what I will do with my time thereafter:
1. Fill up my "Drink It" board on Pinterest with tasty summer beverages.
2. Start my own family business: Finally set up that lemonade stand my girls have been bugging me about since they were 5.
3. "Like" every single post and comment from my FB friends.
4. Re-memorize the lyrics to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire."
5. Read all the books on my Kindle.
6. Self-medicate (see #1).
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Monday, March 19, 2012
Snapshots
Kathleen has been my friend for just about 16 years. We don't see each other very often, but I follow her blog and catch up with her on FB. We used to make coffee together at a hip local coffeehouse in the early 90's, when we were young and went to the beach on a whim and shopped at thrift stores and rolled our eyes a lot. Kathleen is a photographer. And she takes the most incredible pictures. The world through her camera lenses is magical and joyous.
She inspires me to try new things, to see the loveliness in the mundane. Nearly a handful of years ago, when her little sparkle of a son was born, she resolved to take a single snapshot of him each day for a year. What an amazingly simple thing, right? Just point, click, done - easy, no? Well... no. At least for me. I often don't see the preciousness of each day, even as I've developed wrinkles around my eyes (which I can't even seem to moisturize every day) and approach my 40's. I've always glossed over memories that come from daily life, instead looking for some big event that merits remembering. And yet, I barely remember my wedding at the courthouse 13 years ago or the day my girls took their first steps.
My 13-year old (yes, you do the math!) Suzannah saved up and recently bought herself a DSLR. She takes it with her to sleepover parties, so there are many, many images of hairstyles, pajamas, and silly faces. But there are also precious images of our whimsical dog Annie, of an annoyed younger sister, and close-ups of the things that clutter our home. Suz reminds me of Kathleen in many ways - cheerful, kind, and giving, but with a quick wit that saves her from being too soft. Her photos also show me that she sees the magic in each day.
She inspires me to try new things, to see the loveliness in the mundane. Nearly a handful of years ago, when her little sparkle of a son was born, she resolved to take a single snapshot of him each day for a year. What an amazingly simple thing, right? Just point, click, done - easy, no? Well... no. At least for me. I often don't see the preciousness of each day, even as I've developed wrinkles around my eyes (which I can't even seem to moisturize every day) and approach my 40's. I've always glossed over memories that come from daily life, instead looking for some big event that merits remembering. And yet, I barely remember my wedding at the courthouse 13 years ago or the day my girls took their first steps.
My 13-year old (yes, you do the math!) Suzannah saved up and recently bought herself a DSLR. She takes it with her to sleepover parties, so there are many, many images of hairstyles, pajamas, and silly faces. But there are also precious images of our whimsical dog Annie, of an annoyed younger sister, and close-ups of the things that clutter our home. Suz reminds me of Kathleen in many ways - cheerful, kind, and giving, but with a quick wit that saves her from being too soft. Her photos also show me that she sees the magic in each day.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Goodnight, Song
Every single night for most of Suzannah's life and for all of Charlotte's life, I have recapped what we did that day and then sang a song to them before kissing them and tucking them in for the night. We've always called it our "goodnight song."
The original goodnight song was "I've Been Working on the Railroad." Then it became "You Are My Sunshine," but with a slight change in a couple of the verses; I sang, "and when I woke up, I saw you sleeping/so I laid my head down and smiled" instead of the original verses: "when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken/so I hung my head down and cried." Less traumatic. Slightly.
The goodnight song saw my girls through a lot of changes. I sang it to an infant Suzannah when she wailed in the middle of the night. I sang it to a toddler Suzannah after her little sister was born. Through all the years of (loud) fighting with their dad, I sang them the goodnight song. The song became a trio during the separation and the divorce.
At some point this summer, the goodnight song was no more. And I can't remember how a routine that became like brushing my teeth just... stopped. Was it all the consecutive sleepover nights with friends? Was it that we were so tired at the end of the day that we fell right to bed in the evening? Was it that I was so distracted that I stopped offering the goodnight song?
It doesn't matter. Having shared the goodnight song with each other for so long, we are better prepared to be there for one another going forward. And I can't wait.
The original goodnight song was "I've Been Working on the Railroad." Then it became "You Are My Sunshine," but with a slight change in a couple of the verses; I sang, "and when I woke up, I saw you sleeping/so I laid my head down and smiled" instead of the original verses: "when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken/so I hung my head down and cried." Less traumatic. Slightly.
The goodnight song saw my girls through a lot of changes. I sang it to an infant Suzannah when she wailed in the middle of the night. I sang it to a toddler Suzannah after her little sister was born. Through all the years of (loud) fighting with their dad, I sang them the goodnight song. The song became a trio during the separation and the divorce.
At some point this summer, the goodnight song was no more. And I can't remember how a routine that became like brushing my teeth just... stopped. Was it all the consecutive sleepover nights with friends? Was it that we were so tired at the end of the day that we fell right to bed in the evening? Was it that I was so distracted that I stopped offering the goodnight song?
It doesn't matter. Having shared the goodnight song with each other for so long, we are better prepared to be there for one another going forward. And I can't wait.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Fickle
So, dear Blog, I've been cheating on you with Facebook. Or FB, as I affectionately call him. FB was just so new and exciting - I felt ALIVE with FB. Sob. But I swear, I thought about you all the time. Ok, some of the time. I got addicted to FB; it's like crack for nerds (oh wait. that's Star Wars).
Anyway, I'm back. Don't be frightened.
Anyway, I'm back. Don't be frightened.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Tweet my fears
Now that I'm a grownup, I've decided to face my fears. What am I afraid of? Monkeys, over all else. Also, touching raw meat. And the feel of gristle in my mouth. Plus also I have a paralyzing fear of failure and of disappointing my loved ones. However, I have decided to address my fear of Twitter at this time.
I'll let you know when I've decided on a username, which could take a while. Why? I am afraid of committing to one username.
I'll let you know when I've decided on a username, which could take a while. Why? I am afraid of committing to one username.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
I'm a big girl now!
I watched Juno the other night, finally. Really liked it. But there was a scene that got me thinkin, which doesn't usually produce good outcomes. The scene was where Juno tells her stepmom that she hung out with the guy who made up half of the couple who were going to adopt Juno's baby, and that he was really cool, played guitar, etc. The stepmom then says that it's not right to hang out with a married man and that there are rules.
What are these rules? Where can I get a copy?
Other than a glib thought that, in 2008, a woman should be able to be friends with anyone she wants, including married folks regardless of gender, I've never really thought about the propriety or impropriety of friendships with those in marriages or serious relationships. When I was a preteen, I remember my mom saying that proximity breeds desire. I thought that was just old-woman-crazytalk back then, but now I think there's something to that. Think about interoffice romances, the boss doing his secretary, Jim and Pam, Dwight and Angela. Think about Jaime Gumm: We covet what we see every day.
Now that I'm in the most mature relationship of my life (mature as in we are both trying to act unchildish, not mature as in we are both approaching middle age, for Christ's sake), I no longer act like the cool girlfriend (Mental Note: blog about that later). I see that it's necessary to be vulnerable, to express emotion, to let the other person know I appreciate him and think about him. And I found all this out when I met pretty much my equal in this relationship. He can be as hard-to-read and aloof and fiercely independant as I am. A good friend of mine characterized our early relationship as 2 icebergs colliding. Yikes. But now we both talk about our hopes for this relationship and about each other. It feels like a new & different place for me, but it's warm & comforting too.
What are these rules? Where can I get a copy?
Other than a glib thought that, in 2008, a woman should be able to be friends with anyone she wants, including married folks regardless of gender, I've never really thought about the propriety or impropriety of friendships with those in marriages or serious relationships. When I was a preteen, I remember my mom saying that proximity breeds desire. I thought that was just old-woman-crazytalk back then, but now I think there's something to that. Think about interoffice romances, the boss doing his secretary, Jim and Pam, Dwight and Angela. Think about Jaime Gumm: We covet what we see every day.
Now that I'm in the most mature relationship of my life (mature as in we are both trying to act unchildish, not mature as in we are both approaching middle age, for Christ's sake), I no longer act like the cool girlfriend (Mental Note: blog about that later). I see that it's necessary to be vulnerable, to express emotion, to let the other person know I appreciate him and think about him. And I found all this out when I met pretty much my equal in this relationship. He can be as hard-to-read and aloof and fiercely independant as I am. A good friend of mine characterized our early relationship as 2 icebergs colliding. Yikes. But now we both talk about our hopes for this relationship and about each other. It feels like a new & different place for me, but it's warm & comforting too.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Mrs.
So, a couple weeks ago, I thought it would be a good idea to volunteer for my 5th grader's field trip to Marshy Point for a "hands-on experience with nature, get ready to get wet!" (that's what the permission slip said) Now, in my 20's, that description would be supremely exciting, but now, not so much. Anyway, I did get chosen from among the throngs of excited parent volunteers. Oh boy! No, it'll be fun and I'll have done my penance for all those evenings I've been spending working on cases, instead of playing Uno.
In anticipation of the field trip, my 5th grader brought home a sheet of paper today listing the parent and his/her assigned handful of children to watch over while at Marshy Point. The paper referred to the parents by a Mr or Mrs and then their last name. So, I am Mrs. Hugh. I married myself, apparently. What happened to Ms., goddamnit? Women don't need to be married to have a child, jackasses. Hello, the 1950's called and they want their rigid, backward notion of a traditional family back, before Mrs. Cleaver has changed into a dress, chilled the gin, and put the pot roast on the table.
In anticipation of the field trip, my 5th grader brought home a sheet of paper today listing the parent and his/her assigned handful of children to watch over while at Marshy Point. The paper referred to the parents by a Mr or Mrs and then their last name. So, I am Mrs. Hugh. I married myself, apparently. What happened to Ms., goddamnit? Women don't need to be married to have a child, jackasses. Hello, the 1950's called and they want their rigid, backward notion of a traditional family back, before Mrs. Cleaver has changed into a dress, chilled the gin, and put the pot roast on the table.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Happy
What is happiness? It has to be a static state of being. Watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy and eating a bag of salt & vinegar chips while drunk may be happiness for, oh I don't know who, but it may be pure nerdy misery for others. And when you try to define happiness in a relationship - holy hell, everything (and nothing) goes.
More to come... there's a scheduled outage now.
More to come... there's a scheduled outage now.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Do this right now
* Grab the nearest book.
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions if you want to.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
Here's mine: "The documents listed are intended to be illustrative and not all inclusive." (Mitchie's Annotated Code of Maryland, Commercial Law 1-202, comment 2)
* Open the book to page 56.
* Find the fifth sentence.
* Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions if you want to.
* Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
Here's mine: "The documents listed are intended to be illustrative and not all inclusive." (Mitchie's Annotated Code of Maryland, Commercial Law 1-202, comment 2)
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
My New Job Status
The other day I met with a woman who wanted me to represent her son, who is currently being held pending trial, for a misdemeanor assault. She was Greek and didn't speak English; her other son was also in the room and he translated. I asked her all sorts of questions and then she asked me if he could be locked up for good. She was crying as she asked that question. She didn't want him to go to jail; she wanted him to get psychiatric help. Of course the answer to her question was "no" but it really makes me think about a mother's love for her child.
This guy stole from her, pushed her around some, and has put her through a lot of grief while he accrued a long list of arrests. And yet the thought of not being able to see her son reduces her to tears. I'm sure the cynics among us would say that she didn't raise him right, or she's being dramatic. I can't think that way. As much as people in general tend to annoy me, I do see potential in people, a capacity to hope for better things. The day I start hating people in general is the day I will no longer be a proper mother to my girls. It is also the day that I will buy a gun. Just kidding.
And when it came to my fees - the part I hate the most so far about practicing law - the woman pulled out a white envelope and handed me cash, telling me to take care of her son. No pressure there.
This guy stole from her, pushed her around some, and has put her through a lot of grief while he accrued a long list of arrests. And yet the thought of not being able to see her son reduces her to tears. I'm sure the cynics among us would say that she didn't raise him right, or she's being dramatic. I can't think that way. As much as people in general tend to annoy me, I do see potential in people, a capacity to hope for better things. The day I start hating people in general is the day I will no longer be a proper mother to my girls. It is also the day that I will buy a gun. Just kidding.
And when it came to my fees - the part I hate the most so far about practicing law - the woman pulled out a white envelope and handed me cash, telling me to take care of her son. No pressure there.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Here I am
I am really startled to see I haven't posted in a month. Here's what's new and what's still the same:
1. I am now my own boss ("self-unemployed" is how my boyfriend refers to it). Check out my website: www.hughlegal.com. I have business cards and everything. Whoohoo.
2. I like being able to walk my kids to school in the morning and walk back with them in the afternoon.
3. I've started reusing plastic Ziploc baggies, just like dear old mom. I hated it when she did that as I was growing up. I remember thinking something along the lines of "I don't want to bring my used sandwich bags home so you can use them again in tomorrow's lunch. I hate it when my apples smell like yesterday's bologna sandwich. Jesus Christ, could you stop being so f-ing cheap and just throw the bags away? And for that matter, could you stop buying toilet paper with the same thickness as pantyhose?"
4. My daughter's guinea pig is a crap machine. The moment it gets put back in its cage after new bedding has been put down, it runs around the cage, dropping curiously uniformly-sized pellets all over the goddamned place, like F2 bombers spreading George Bush's joy all over the Middle East.
5. I feel like I have no time to return phone calls or have an actual social life and yet, I also feel like I waste so much time agonizing over tiny details. Maybe I have adult-onset obsessive-compulsive disorder. See how I use all those hyphens? Notice how I thought the guinea pig poop was "curiously uniformly-sized"?
6. The gym teacher at my kids' elementary school is pretty hot. He stands by the safety patrol in the morning and says hi as I walk by with my kids. His shoulders look good in the fitted polo shirts he wears. It's the stuff of good pornos. Not the bad ones featuring whores with dirty feet and ugly men, always one guy with a ponytail, one with a mustache, and at least one with zits - the kind of porn that leaves me gagging (not for THAT reason, you dirty, dirty thing) and repulsed by intercourse in general.
7. Physically, I think Michael Phelps is the male equivalent of Sarah Jessica Parker.
8. I want to go to a Ravens game soon (and often). Also, I need a team jersey.
1. I am now my own boss ("self-unemployed" is how my boyfriend refers to it). Check out my website: www.hughlegal.com. I have business cards and everything. Whoohoo.
2. I like being able to walk my kids to school in the morning and walk back with them in the afternoon.
3. I've started reusing plastic Ziploc baggies, just like dear old mom. I hated it when she did that as I was growing up. I remember thinking something along the lines of "I don't want to bring my used sandwich bags home so you can use them again in tomorrow's lunch. I hate it when my apples smell like yesterday's bologna sandwich. Jesus Christ, could you stop being so f-ing cheap and just throw the bags away? And for that matter, could you stop buying toilet paper with the same thickness as pantyhose?"
4. My daughter's guinea pig is a crap machine. The moment it gets put back in its cage after new bedding has been put down, it runs around the cage, dropping curiously uniformly-sized pellets all over the goddamned place, like F2 bombers spreading George Bush's joy all over the Middle East.
5. I feel like I have no time to return phone calls or have an actual social life and yet, I also feel like I waste so much time agonizing over tiny details. Maybe I have adult-onset obsessive-compulsive disorder. See how I use all those hyphens? Notice how I thought the guinea pig poop was "curiously uniformly-sized"?
6. The gym teacher at my kids' elementary school is pretty hot. He stands by the safety patrol in the morning and says hi as I walk by with my kids. His shoulders look good in the fitted polo shirts he wears. It's the stuff of good pornos. Not the bad ones featuring whores with dirty feet and ugly men, always one guy with a ponytail, one with a mustache, and at least one with zits - the kind of porn that leaves me gagging (not for THAT reason, you dirty, dirty thing) and repulsed by intercourse in general.
7. Physically, I think Michael Phelps is the male equivalent of Sarah Jessica Parker.
8. I want to go to a Ravens game soon (and often). Also, I need a team jersey.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Hire me
Does anyone need any legal work done? You can be my first real client... I can form corporations, file family law matters, handle personal injury or worker's compensation matters, draft wills, trusts, powers of attorney, most anything. Please?
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Beds we lie on
I got sole custody, physical and legal. I felt sad for my ex afterwards, for the choices he's made in life, or perhaps the dearth of choices he's actually made. He's missed a 7 year old Suz swimming in her first swim meet, winning the championship relay for her age group. He's missed a 5 year old Char crying at her first soccer game because she can't score a goal every time she shoots. He's missed Suz's very first band concert, where she played clarinet in public for the first time and where she looked so grownup, I almost cried. And he's still missing events.
Years down the road, I wonder if he'll even know what he's missed.
Years down the road, I wonder if he'll even know what he's missed.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Grown-up Stuff
Tomorrow I'm going to a pendente lite hearing for child custody and support. I've been going through documents and receipts all morning, to prepare. It seems sort of unreal, as though I'm preparing for a hearing scene in a movie or a play - I need to be ready, but it doesn't seem like it's happening in the real world.
By the way, my boyfriend and my ex met each other this past Saturday at my girls' birthday party. It was weird, to say the least. My BF didn't like my ex at all, called him scum and drug addict, though not to his face. He's an overreactor, quick to anger; thumbs up. But, the party went very well and my girls had a lot of fun.
By the way, my boyfriend and my ex met each other this past Saturday at my girls' birthday party. It was weird, to say the least. My BF didn't like my ex at all, called him scum and drug addict, though not to his face. He's an overreactor, quick to anger; thumbs up. But, the party went very well and my girls had a lot of fun.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Freeze my head, please
I turn 35 tomorrow. I have mixed feelings about it. I wish I knew the little I know now, when I was younger. Here's a list of the things I would tell the me in my 20's:
1. Everyone will always have an opinion about what you do, wear, or say, and those opinions will never, ever be one of uniform support. So, while you may not be able to forget about what others think, at least try to enjoy everything you're doing while you're doing it.
2. You don't have to be the world's premier expert at something to continue to do it.
3. Failing does NOT mean you are a failure.
4. You do not need to lose any weight.
5. Don't give your amazing dog, Truman, away after you have children.
6. Be choosy about who you date. Don't be flattered just because some guy talks to you.
7. You are attractive and have a lot to offer. Stand tall and be proud of yourself.
8. Call your youngest sister. Remember that you love her.
9. Even if you have to beg, borrow, or steal, scrape up enough money to attend the destination wedding of your best friend from high school.
10. You are capable of making smart decisions and controlling your destiny.
11. Find a little company that goes by the name Google, Inc. in Menlo Park, California (Palo Alto, after 1999). Offer to enter data, answer phones, mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, anything in exchange for stock options.
12. You're not shallow by thinking you need money to be happy - you're smart. While money doesn't guarantee happiness, it sure makes it easier to find happiness.
13. I've sent you $7000 via a time machine that looks like your microwave. Use the cash to get a boob job. A really good one. And don't go with the double Ds.
1. Everyone will always have an opinion about what you do, wear, or say, and those opinions will never, ever be one of uniform support. So, while you may not be able to forget about what others think, at least try to enjoy everything you're doing while you're doing it.
2. You don't have to be the world's premier expert at something to continue to do it.
3. Failing does NOT mean you are a failure.
4. You do not need to lose any weight.
5. Don't give your amazing dog, Truman, away after you have children.
6. Be choosy about who you date. Don't be flattered just because some guy talks to you.
7. You are attractive and have a lot to offer. Stand tall and be proud of yourself.
8. Call your youngest sister. Remember that you love her.
9. Even if you have to beg, borrow, or steal, scrape up enough money to attend the destination wedding of your best friend from high school.
10. You are capable of making smart decisions and controlling your destiny.
11. Find a little company that goes by the name Google, Inc. in Menlo Park, California (Palo Alto, after 1999). Offer to enter data, answer phones, mop the floors, clean the bathrooms, anything in exchange for stock options.
12. You're not shallow by thinking you need money to be happy - you're smart. While money doesn't guarantee happiness, it sure makes it easier to find happiness.
13. I've sent you $7000 via a time machine that looks like your microwave. Use the cash to get a boob job. A really good one. And don't go with the double Ds.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
No. 1 Kitchen
I love my power drill. I thought lovingly about it this morning, recalling the ease with which I drilled holes for the handles in my new kitchen cabinets last night. The drill also screws in screws in a marvelously quick and easy fashion. Anything that makes a job quick and easy is A, number 1 in my book. That's why I love my egg steamer/toaster, microwave, dishwasher, hand blender, apple corer, Google, email, text messaging, and DVR/Tivo.
My contractor is here right now, putting in my sink! I am so happy about that. It's a beautiful new sink too - glossy white porcelain, farmhouse-style. I couldn't be more pleased with it. My kitchen is mostly modern, toned down by some cottage-y elements - stainless steel appliances, plain white cabinetry with stainless steel handles, steel cabinet legs in lieu of toekicks, shelving on the walls instead of wall cabinets, butcher block countertops, farmhouse sink, wood floors. I'm thinking of painting one wall a pumpkin/paprika color, one wall a faint sky blue, and the others a glossy white.
Yes, I am aware this post sounds very pretentious and yuppie. HOWEVER, I chose everything for its reasonable price. I didn't get marble or granite countertops, although I love the look of white Carrera marble. My cabinets are from Ikea and are not custom-made. I assembled and put the cabinets in myself. My dad and I gutted the kitchen. So, anyway, when it's all done, you're all invited over for a kitchen-warming party! And I'm not even registered at Pottery Barn.
My contractor is here right now, putting in my sink! I am so happy about that. It's a beautiful new sink too - glossy white porcelain, farmhouse-style. I couldn't be more pleased with it. My kitchen is mostly modern, toned down by some cottage-y elements - stainless steel appliances, plain white cabinetry with stainless steel handles, steel cabinet legs in lieu of toekicks, shelving on the walls instead of wall cabinets, butcher block countertops, farmhouse sink, wood floors. I'm thinking of painting one wall a pumpkin/paprika color, one wall a faint sky blue, and the others a glossy white.
Yes, I am aware this post sounds very pretentious and yuppie. HOWEVER, I chose everything for its reasonable price. I didn't get marble or granite countertops, although I love the look of white Carrera marble. My cabinets are from Ikea and are not custom-made. I assembled and put the cabinets in myself. My dad and I gutted the kitchen. So, anyway, when it's all done, you're all invited over for a kitchen-warming party! And I'm not even registered at Pottery Barn.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Some stuff
Had my first interview today. I liked them very much, particularly the hiring partner, who is a very well-regarded litigator in this state. They said good things, like "If we don't call you right away, don't think we're not interested. We go slowly on these things." And "If you get another offer from another firm, call us right away and we'll speed up the process." And "You'll find that you'll have no problem meeting your billable hours." Sounds promising, but I won't be excited until I get a call that goes something like "Welcome to the firm! You'll be making twice what you're currently making, i.e. a living wage!"
Blahblah. I feel blah today, overwhelmed a bit, out of sorts. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have no functioning kitchen at the moment (getting new cabinets & sink put in) and I have to wash my dishes in the bathroom sink.
Blahblah. I feel blah today, overwhelmed a bit, out of sorts. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I have no functioning kitchen at the moment (getting new cabinets & sink put in) and I have to wash my dishes in the bathroom sink.
Friday, June 20, 2008
I am not Demi Moore
The Judge has a new intern, who is 23 years old, entering his second year of law school, has lovely white teeth, and looks smashing in a business suit. My co-clerk and I went to lunch with him today and, there, found out that he can cook the perfect omelet, make a good cup of coffee, eat, wash the dishes, and be out the door, all within 10 minutes' time. Have mercy.
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