Thursday, September 18, 2008

Here I am

I am really startled to see I haven't posted in a month. Here's what's new and what's still the same:

1. I am now my own boss ("self-unemployed" is how my boyfriend refers to it). Check out my website: www.hughlegal.com. I have business cards and everything. Whoohoo.

2. I like being able to walk my kids to school in the morning and walk back with them in the afternoon.

3. I've started reusing plastic Ziploc baggies, just like dear old mom. I hated it when she did that as I was growing up. I remember thinking something along the lines of "I don't want to bring my used sandwich bags home so you can use them again in tomorrow's lunch. I hate it when my apples smell like yesterday's bologna sandwich. Jesus Christ, could you stop being so f-ing cheap and just throw the bags away? And for that matter, could you stop buying toilet paper with the same thickness as pantyhose?"

4. My daughter's guinea pig is a crap machine. The moment it gets put back in its cage after new bedding has been put down, it runs around the cage, dropping curiously uniformly-sized pellets all over the goddamned place, like F2 bombers spreading George Bush's joy all over the Middle East.

5. I feel like I have no time to return phone calls or have an actual social life and yet, I also feel like I waste so much time agonizing over tiny details. Maybe I have adult-onset obsessive-compulsive disorder. See how I use all those hyphens? Notice how I thought the guinea pig poop was "curiously uniformly-sized"?

6. The gym teacher at my kids' elementary school is pretty hot. He stands by the safety patrol in the morning and says hi as I walk by with my kids. His shoulders look good in the fitted polo shirts he wears. It's the stuff of good pornos. Not the bad ones featuring whores with dirty feet and ugly men, always one guy with a ponytail, one with a mustache, and at least one with zits - the kind of porn that leaves me gagging (not for THAT reason, you dirty, dirty thing) and repulsed by intercourse in general.

7. Physically, I think Michael Phelps is the male equivalent of Sarah Jessica Parker.

8. I want to go to a Ravens game soon (and often). Also, I need a team jersey.

2 comments:

Kathleen said...

come visit some morning after you walk the girls to school!

congrats on the new employment, too! wow!
and goodonya for recycling bags.
and #5...well...i-don't-know-what-to-tell-you...
you just need to call.

xo COME OVER!

Unknown said...

Your site looks great! Very professional!

You think reusing the sandwich bags was embarrassing...my nightmare was pulling my sandwich out of my lunch bag and finding it wrapped in an old Ramen sack.

I've been reusing the ziplocs as well, though I can't think of anything more of a pain to wash out (and dry!).

I guess they replaced creepy birthday-spanking Mr. Schaefer with someone new at LTE, huh? Just about anyone would have been an improvement. I was just glad that my birthday fell during summer vacation.