Indiana Jones and the Quest for Lost Youth

A couple mornings ago, my girls and I were sitting around the breakfast (lunch, dinner, snack)table, eating cereal and reading the backs of the cereal boxes. One of my girls points of a picture on one of the boxes and asked, "Who's this?" It was Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones. She then said, in disbelief, "THAT'S Indiana Jones?! How come he looks so OLD?" And, you know what, he did look old. But I felt sort of defensive, so I said something like, "Well, in the earlier movies, he was really young and handsome." My girls had stopped listening to me, because, well, I sounded like an old lady at that point. I was actually pretty shocked at how much Indy really had aged. In my mind, Indy was always such a dreamy college professor/archaeologist/action figure/down to earth/hero/rescuer. I guess he still is, but after that cereal box, I tell you, I'm going to have to watch the earlier movies so I can be reminded of his dreaminess.

Still no pills

Very, very soon, I need to revise my resume and send them to law firms. I can't start my own firm - I can barely keep up with the laundry. But then I start thinking about all those inspirational quotes that say stuff like "Never quit!" or "Don't allow 'can't' into your vocabulary!" and I feel like I should just take a risk and do it. Then I think about how I need to be able to hire a nanny this fall, so my kids don't become latchkey kids at age 8 and 10, and then I think it's just safer and wiser to work for someone else.

Another thing that's been on my mind is this whole blending of families thing. I've got my 2 girls; he's got his cat. I'm serious about the cat thing - it's a whole big issue. If we were to live together, I'm allergic to cats, so he's concerned about having to make a "choice". I'm sorry, but, Jesus Christ, I can't believe I'm competing with a cat. I understand he's had the cat for over 17 years, but to even have it be a choice is rather insulting to me. It's not like he'd have to get rid of the cat, just leave it at his mom's house. Once he compared his cat to my kids, and asked me if I'd be happy about making a choice about leaving my kids. I tried really, really hard not to laugh and also yell at him.

Ran out of pills this morning

Father's Day has always been a weird holiday for me. Here's a little narrative that has evolved in my mind as the years have gone by:

"Hi, here you go - it's a necktie. Yeah, I know you've only worn a tie twice ever in your life, once at Susan's wedding, and once at your wedding, and that you never had to wear one to the office because you didn't work in an office. I know you could probably buy a necktie factory for yourself, but... enjoy! Yeah, I'll never make as much money as you have, but thanks for making so many sacrifices so that I could have more opportunities than you ever had. That is a source of genuine guilt for me and the biggest indicator of your love. You have no idea how many nights I've stayed up thinking about all the time, youth, happiness, and health you've lost. Also, the tie is a symbolic gift, a sort of notice to you that I felt so constricted by you as a young girl. I wanted you to pay attention to me as a person, not just as a disappointing, A minus student. I wanted to you to, just once, tell me I looked pretty. I wanted you to take me fishing a second time, even though I frustrated you on the first and only trip by not learning as fast as you wanted me to. Ok, so Happy Father's Day! I brought chocolate croissants!"

I Heart JP

My favorite person today is Jay Payton, the Orioles outfielder who hit a grandslam against the Red Sox last night, securing a clean series sweep. Love it.

9 consecutive rainy days make me grumpy

You know what? If I hear or see one more thing about Jenna Bush's wedding, I swear I'm going to go crazy like Michael Douglas in the movie "Falling Down". WHO CARES ABOUT JENNA BUSH GETTING MARRIED?! Christ. I love the jackasses in Texas who made souvenirs to sell to tourists. Look at these gems:










And this photo just screams, "Thank you, may I have another?"

No hat

I'm not buying a hat for Preakness - a hat which I'd wear once, so I can mingle with people who buy and sell horses (which they call "ponies") and own BMW's that retail for twice as much as my first house in Hampden. Maybe I should do as the natives do and drink about 12 Black-Eyed Susans and stumble around in my 3 1/2 inch heels. And I have this fantasy about Marilyn Manson and his creepy entourage crashing the clubhouse like in the Tainted Love video.

Horses and Hats

Merriam-Webster defines "yuppie" as a young college-educated adult who is employed in a well-paying profession and who lives and works in or near a large city. One website describes yuppies in this manner:

Dispensing of the social causes of their more passionate parents, yuppies tend
to be 9-5 professional workers. Because of this, some people see them as sellouts. Yuppies tend to value material goods (especially trendy new things). ... Unfortunately, the fast paced pursuit of these material goods has unintended consequences. Usually in a hurry, they seek convenience goods as services. Being "time poor", their family relations can become difficult to sustain. Maintaining their way of life is mentally exhausting.

Wow. Well, that being said, I think I'm going to Preakness next weekend and I need a fancy hat and sundress. Let me know if anyone has either I can borrow, because, while I am not a yuppie because I am poor, I like to play one on tv. I liken myself to the hooker Julia Roberts played in Pretty Woman, who used Richard Gere's credit card to go on a fabulous shopping spree and then went to a polo match in that cute brown polka-dotted dress and brown hat. Except for the hooker part.

Smooshed

We had an amazing time in Puerto Rico. The resort was smashing:




The resort's private island, which we snorkeled to, was smashing:

And, the guy was smashing: